life as mommy

Mom Shaming

9:00:00 AM

Are you a stay-at-home mom? That question was asked of me this past weekend by a woman whom I had just met.

No ma'am, I responded.

Oh, so you put her in daycare? That's when I heard it - that note of disdain, of disapproval for my parenting decision. All coming from a woman who had known me for all of thirty minutes. A woman who most likely I will not see again.

For the first time since my daughter was born, I was mom shamed. I've seen this happen to other mothers but have been fortunate to avoid the situation myself. Finding myself face-to-face with this unwarranted disapproval from a stranger, I truthfully didn't know how to react, so I didn't.

I am not a stay-at-home mom. My daughter goes to daycare during the week. And, believe it or not, our mother-daughter relationship is not suffering. Sure it sucks on days that I come home and only get to spend about thirty minutes with her before bedtime. And there are days that I would much rather stay at home and play princess castle, watch Mickey Mouse and read books. But I like to work. And, quite frankly, I wouldn't be able to have the lifestyle I want if both my husband and I did not work.

And let's not discount the benefits of daycare. Alexis is learning how to socialize with other children. She's being exposed to germs and illnesses now so that when she starts school in a few years hopefully she won't get sick every other week. The teachers at our daycare help with everything from learning how to feed themselves to coloring and even potty training.

Bottom line is this - whether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, no matter the reasons behind it, you deserve support. So to all those people out there turning their noses up at another mom's decision to work or not to work, shame on you. Being a parent is hard enough as it is. We don't need your crap, too.

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