I went into labor on Monday. Ironically, my water broke as I was walking out the door on my way to a scheduled appointment. After confirming that I was indeed in labor, the doctor sent me on to the hospital.
I had every intention of having a natural birth. I didn't want to take an epidural, but after hours of contractions that weren't doing anything to move the baby further down, I gave in. The pain was excruciating and making my blood pressure soar even higher.
After 24 hours of labor, the baby still hadn't progressed enough for me to push. And since my water actually broke, we had reached the threshold of when the risk of infection increases. For the baby's safety, as well as my own, we decided to do a C-section.
Being awake during a major surgery you had no intention of having is terrifying. Not being able to see what's being done to your body or really feel anything just adds to it. And your support person is only allowed in the operating room for the very end of the procedure. Hearing my baby's cry when they took her out made me cry. Getting to touch her cheek before they took her away made me cry more. (Remembering it all makes me cry all over again.)
I didn't get to hold Alexis until the following day. Because the birth was so long after my water broke, there was a lot of extra stuff we both had to go through - namely antibiotics just in case. Plus I could barely sit up on my own and had been given morphine.
We were supposed to go home that Friday, but my blood pressure had other ideas. While the doctors tossed around the P word (preeclampsia), they never actually said that was what I had. At any rate, they were trying to prevent it. We ended up staying for an entire week. I didn't think my blood pressure was ever going to stabilize. It was one of the scariest experiences I've been through.
Alexis is perfect though. At 3 weeks old she's already on a fairly regular sleeping/eating schedule. She's starting to pick her head up and look around. She rarely cries and is sleeping 3-5 hours at night. To say she already has her mommy and daddy wrapped around her little fingers would be an understatement. We are absolutely in love with her.
As for me, postpartum has been easier than I expected. I'm by no means 100% back to my pre-pregnancy self, but I'm getting there. I'm down 40 pounds, all water weight. I fit back into nearly all of my old clothes and can wear all my shoes again. I still get tired pretty easily and can't do a lot of seemingly simple tasks like sweep the floors and parts of my stomach have a weird almost-numb feeling that the doctor says should go away soon. For now, I'm taking it one day at a time, holding my baby as often as possible (probably too much) and enjoying the time I get to be a stay-at-home mommy. I really don't know how I'm going to go back to work now that I have her!
Alexis Rose
Born April 7, 2015