The Exception

by - November 28, 2011

Last week I talked about moving in with my boyfriend next year, and someone made the comment that there is a 50% divorce rate in this country. While that statistic is sadly accurate, it still leaves some pretty good odds - 50% of marriages succeed.

I'm not a naive person where marriage is concerned, and although I don't have any intention of getting divorced once I get married I do know that sometimes it's necessary. Discounting those who get married and divorced as many times as normal people take a shower, some relationships really are not meant to last and it takes a marriage to show it.

My biological parents are divorced. I have no doubt in my mind that they were in love when they got married, but in the end they just weren't compatible with each other. My biological father has been married three times, each of those times shorter than the last. He did (and still does) drink too much, did (and still does) have an affinity for not going to work, and in the end all of that plus a lot more added up to a negative.

It's people like my biological father who contribute to that 50% divorce rate.

My mother, on the other hand, has been married to her current husband and the man I call my dad for nearly 20 years now. Theirs is a successful marriage that will fulfill their wedding vows - til death do us part. They still hold hands and kiss each other. They laugh together and do everything else together. Sure they fight, but what real couple doesn't argue every now and then? She takes care of him when his diabetes goes haywire, and I swear he'd do anything to protect her.

My paternal grandparents have been married for more than 50 years. They say my papa was a woman-chasing, fast driving chain smoker before her. He's still a speed demon who likes to 'let the horses run', but he's been true to my mema for all these years.

He's not doing so well now, and whenever I get a chance I drive back home to see them. The last time I was able, Papa asked me to find his pictures on his phone for him. So I did, and as he was flipping through those photos he got to one of Mema. He just stopped on that photo, smiled and said, "That's my lady."

I want that.

And I think I've found the one person who can give it to me. So that 50% divorce rate can count me out. We're in it for the long haul.

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  1. << "That's my lady."

    I want that. >>

    This is what it all boils down to. The opposite of love is apathy. If you've been married to somebody for decades and still melt when you see their picture, then you're with the right person.