Monday Motivation + 5 Lessons from my Love Life

by - February 14, 2022

Happy Valentine's Day, friends. Have you guys had a romantic weekend? My weekend consisted of a whole lot of much-needed me time. This past week was pretty overwhelming in a lot of ways, and I needed a break from pretty much all obligations. It did end on a high note, though. Some of my former coworkers who weren't able to attend the retirement party a couple of weeks ago planned a surprise party for Reg. It was so much fun, y'all! It was honestly like a big family reunion with all the people who played big parts in my first years of working. And I still didn't get a picture with Reg. LOL

Anyway, in honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd do something a little differently for this Monday Motivation post and share some of the biggest lessons I've learned from my own relationships over the years.

Don't go out with someone just because someone else wants you to. 
I actually have two different personal experiences I could share, but for the purposes of this post I'm going to stick with my first date. I worked with the guy at the grocery store in town, and he was pretty persistent. I finally accepted the invite at the behest of my mother. We went to a movie, which for us was a 45-minute drive away. I was uncomfortable pretty much the entire time, so much so that I pretended not to have filled up on movie theater snacks and we didn't go to dinner.

Don't put a time limit on a relationship.
So, this one summer I was home from college, I had a fling with a coworker. There were some pretty clear boundaries set at the beginning of this quasi-relationship, the main one being that when summer ended and I went back to school, it would be over. While that was perfect for me, the guy I had been casually seeing was not ready for things to end. There were quite a few things that happened after I left that aren't important for this post, but suffice it to say that trying to squish a relationship into a box of preconceived notions is not going to work out the way you planned.

Friends with benefits will not be equal on both sides.
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. While I don't necessarily discourage this type of relationship, it's inevitable that one of the people involved will most likely take things a little more seriously than the other. Proceed with caution.

You are not a bitch for saying "no" to someone who mistakes kindness and friendship as something more.
There was this guy in college who thought that because he was nice to me that I should date him. Unfortunately, he didn't take 'no' for an answer and essentially became a stalker, sending me unwanted gifts and showing up places he should not have known I was at. I confronted him, and things got pretty ugly. He even posted a blast against me on his Myspace page, naming me and everything, where he essentially called me a bitch for not wanting to date him. His only reason why I should date him was that he was a nice guy.

If none of your friends and family like your significant other, you should consider why.
Here's the thing. At the end of the day, it's your decision who you end up with, but your close friends and family should want what's best for you. If none of those people whose opinions you value like your significant other and actually voice their opinion to you, you should at least take the time to find out why. I'm not saying that your relationship status has to change after the conversation, but sometimes you don't see certain things from the inside.

What's the best piece of relationship advice you've ever gotten?

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