Walk the Plank!

by - August 18, 2010

I don't hold much with political parties. Frankly, I think anyone who limits their political views to the restrictions of one party are limiting their ability as a citizen to make informed decisions. Therefore I refuse to declare myself an avid republican or democrat. Both parties have views that I agree with. Likewise, both have views I disagree with.

With that being said, I have found a political party that I might actually consider! The Pirate Party!

Yes, they are a legitimate political party, although they're not officially recognized in any U.S. state. They surfaced four years ago in Sweden as advocates of the information age. Basically, they're techies out to protect the ways of the internet.

Anyway, this unique party has showed up in Oregon. Jorden Leonard is running for some random office as a Pirate. Unfortunately he doesn't dress up like a pirate, thus taking away some of the grandeur I had imagined upon first reading the story. His campaign is focused on trademark, patent and copyright reform.

So yeah, it's not all that exciting. But if I declared myself a member of the Pirate Party I could totally justify dressing like this:
Isn't that hat awesome?

But if I were really to declare myself a Pirate raises an even more serious question. A question of epic proportions, if you will. If I were to become a pirate and start living the pirate lifestyle, would that make me a pastafarian?

Don't scoff. That is a legitimate question.

Pastafarians worship the flying spaghetti monster.
The belief is that the universe was created by an invisible and undetectable flying spaghetti monster after it drank heavily. His intoxication is what caused the Earth to be flawed. Their idea of Heaven has a beer volcano and strippers, while their idea of Hell is similar but the beer is stale and the strippers have STDs.

You're probably thinking right about now, what does this have to do with pirates? Well, I'll tell you.

Pastafarians believe pirates are absolute divine beings and the original Pastafarians. They believe the pirate image of being thieves and outcasts is misinformation spread by Christian theologians. Pastafarians believe pirates of old were peaceful explorers, full of goodwill and gave candy to children.

This is a legitimate religion, although it is often quite satirical. You can verify its existence for yourself by checking out the official site HERE. You can even send them hate mail!

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  1. Thanks for the attention. I'm Jorden, the founder of the Oregon Pirate Party, but I'm not a candidate. We only have one candidate this election Michael Meo for the 3rd Congressional district, and because Oregon allows for cross nomination he is also the candidate for the Pacific Green Party and the Progressive Party.

    We just are getting started otherwise we'd have more.

    Feel free to join our group on facebook btw, we'd love to have you.

    Or just stop by at www.arregon.org

  2. Thanks for stopping by, Jorden. Sorry about the confusion, CNN wasn't very clear on who was actually running. Good luck to you guys!

  3. This post actually makes me feel a little more normal about fearing a zombie apocalypse. At least mine has bionuclear origins, and not pothead origins. Lol.

    But I'm totally loving this pirate party idea!